Songs of Our Lives
by Ghostalker
Summary: A series of one-shots, varied pairings, all based on songs.
1. Cold

_Looking back at me I see  
That I never really got it right_

I, Alex Russo, never got anything right, at least, not the first time. As confident and sure as I came across, I knew that the only reason I could ever get anything right was because Justin was always there to fix my mistakes and give me another chance.

_  
I never stopped to think of you  
I'm always wrapped up in  
Things I cannot win_

And even though, on some really deep level, I knew that he was the reason I was still a wizard, why I could still be reasonably normal, I never really stopped to think of what I was doing to him. I'd always bite off more than I could chew, both with magic and with boys. Too many times… I'd taken Justin's protection for granted. I couldn't see how I was playing with his emotions.

_  
You are the antidote that gets me by  
Something strong  
Like a drug that gets me high_

I don't know when the feelings for him started. I imagine it may have been on the vacation to the Caribbean. When I realized that I would be lost without him, that I wouldn't be able to get by. And from that time on, I cherished every moment with him, whether he knew it or not. Whenever I was with him, I felt like I could do anything, be anyone I wanted to be.__

What I really meant to say  
Is I'm sorry for the way I am  
I never meant to be so cold to you  


So why did I hide behind my cold and uncaring demeanor? Why couldn't I tell him how he made me feel? Why did I have to push him away again and again?

I wish I could tell him I'm sorry for everything. I didn't want to be this way… but the world doesn't take too kindly to a sister loving her brother in _that_ way.

_  
And I'm sorry about all the lies  
Maybe in a different light  
You could see me stand on my own again_

If only things were different. If only I didn't have to lie to myself and to him about the way things really are. If only the world could see the love we have for each other and could look past our genetic similarity.

How different things would be if I were just some girl he wasn't related to…

_  
Cause now i can see  
You were the antidote that got me by  
Something strong like a drug that got me high_

But if he wasn't my brother, and if he wasn't there to be my safety net, and if he didn't fix my every mistake, would I have felt the same way? I know I wouldn't.

_  
I never really wanted you to see  
The screwed up side of me that I keep  
Locked inside of me so deep  
It always seems to get to me_

I never wanted him to know. Because even though I tortured and nagged and teased him all the time, I knew he would hate me even more if he could see how I felt about him. How I wanted him, _needed_ him more than any sister ever should need her brother.

_  
I never really wanted you to go  
So many things you should have known  
I guess for me there's just no hope  
I never meant to be so cold_

Still, there were so many things I wanted to tell him before he left for college. How I wanted him to go to a college with an arts program, because I could never pursue anything other than art, but at the same time I could never stand to go somewhere where he wasn't. I wanted to tell him that my teasing and pranks were just my twisted little way of showing him I needed him. I wanted to tell him that I loved him.

But I can't.

No matter how much I want it, I want his happiness so much more. And I know that this little piece of information would shatter his world, and bring our reality crashing down. For once, I, Alex Russo, have to do the responsible thing and think of the consequences, because for once, the consequences are too devastating to the one person I care about more than myself.

So I act cold.

I'm sorry Justin. I never meant to be this way.


	2. Without You

Hello to all!

This is my first attempt at a song-fic, or, rather, a collection of songfic one-shots. Since I am such a fan of the Jalex pairing, almost all of them will be that pairing, from one viewpoint or another.

Sorry for not taking care of this last chapter: I do not own WOWP. Or the songs. Last chapter's was Cold by Crossfade, this chapter's is Without You by Breaking Benjamin. Hope you enjoy them!

* * *

_Search for the answers I knew all along  
I lost myself, we all fall down  
Never the wiser of what I've become  
Alone I stand a broken man  
_

I, Justin Russo, am not one to be confused.

I know everything, or at least, I like to pretend I do. I study, I memorize, I assimilate, and every bit of knowledge I've ever come across is locked somewhere in my brain. I like to think I've got it all together.

But the simple fact is, I cannot explain to you why I am in love with my sister.

_All I have is one last chance  
I won't turn my back on you  
Take my hand drag me down  
If you fall then I will too  
And I can't save what's left of you_

I knew she loved me back. Even as clueless as she claims I am, I had figured this out after the vacation to the Caribbean and the quest for the Stone of Dreams. The hints had added up, had made sense. There was only one problem.

It was all wrong.

But as wrong as it all was, our forbidden love between siblings, I knew I couldn't live without her in my life. I couldn't turn my back on her, not after all we'd been through together, not after she confessed to me that she didn't care if she was going to hell, she loved me, dammit, and I needed to know.

So I guess I'm going to hell, too, because there isn't anything I wouldn't do, not a single place I wouldn't go, as long as she's there. I can't save her from myself or from her own desires, so I guess I'll be damned. Hell won't be so bad as long as she's there with me.__

Sing something new  
I have nothing left  
I can't face the dark without you  
There's nothing left to lose  
The fight never ends  
I can't face the dark without you  


We have nothing left. Our parents know, our friends shun us. All that's left is her. If it were anyone else, the price would be too high, but not with her. She makes it all worth it. I can face whatever darkness is coming knowing she's right there with me.

_  
Swallow me under and pull me apart  
I understand there's nothing left  
Pain so familiar and close to the heart  
No more, no less, I won't forget  
_

It hurts, yes. Having everyone else you know and love turn their backs on you because of the love you have for your sister is painful. But it doesn't matter, because I will never forget the countless little things that brought us together.

_  
Come back down save yourself  
I can't find my way to you  
And I can't bear and face the truth_

Save yourself, Alex. Forget about me, I'm damned forever because of my feelings for you. You, you still have a chance. You can find someone else to take my place, but I will never find anyone that can take yours. That's the truth.__

I wanted to forget  
I'm trying to forget  
Don't leave me here again  
I'm with you forever, the end

I tried to forget about all this. But no matter what I tried, no spell would work to erase my memories. Perhaps it's because there's no way to erase love; it's too powerful. I'll stay with you forever, Alex. You are simultaneously my salvation and my damnation.__

Holding the hand that holds me down  
I forgive you, forget you, the end

You hold me down, but lift me up. I forgive you for this Alex, but I can never forget. I don't think there's anything to forgive, honestly, because sin has never been so sweet.


End file.
